Its 7:00pm, and again I find myself having an urge to drink alcohol.  I look all around me and see that I’m here, laying in my bed, all alone.  What else is there to do?  It’s all I’ve known to do while alone.  While I haven’t completely put down books in the past few years, I have none here to read- and television is not at all appealing.  While I look at the screen and type these words the urge to go buy a beer is drowned out by the work that it takes to produce these, but the second I click and/or look away, the pain comes back.  The animal, booze brain that has taken control of my life is trying to convince me to have a drink and let it all go- but I am fighting back and taking control of myself this time.

Long walk, here I come.This time I will not let it win.